Tag Archives: reluctant

Why reluctance part 3: criticism is easier than leading

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Another factor in leaders’ reluctance is that it’s easier to deconstruct than it is to construct. Postmodernity is at its heart a critical theory. As Sarah Arthur and others have said, it’s not really an –ism because it isn’t really a philosophy itself (at least, not yet). So young people today are great at pointing out what’s wrong, but they often don’t know what should take the place of what they’ve critiqued. That, of course, leads to great frustration by established leaders who are taking all the risks. It’s simply easier and more comfortable to sit in the back row and shoot at the leaders. So the challenge is to find ways to get young people to enter the dialog. It’s not that they don’t have ideas or suggestions; usually it’s quite the opposite, and they don’t think anyone in authority is willing to listen.

A thirty-something friend of mine, who had developed an unfortunate reputation as a back-row complainer, has recently felt called by God to step up to the front and lead. It’s a different role, and it comes with risks. In taking on a new position of responsibility, this friend is adjusting to a different role, with new influence but different options available to her to voice frustrations and ideas. As she told me the other day, “If nothing else, I have no problem being a front-row criticizer who’s in on the planning as well.”

Leadership has its privileges and responsibilities. You simply can’t do the same things as the back row critics. But it’s contagious. As a mentor told me early on in my career, “Once you’re in the game, it’s hard to leave it.” If you want to change the world, there’s no better alternative to earning a voice of influence that gives you the means to do something about an issue rather than just complain about it. I’m not talking about a desire for power, but a tipping point where the desire to be heard overcomes your fears of responsibility.

My suggestions? As an established leader, find a way to give voice to the rising, reluctant and potential leaders. You need to hear their critiques and ideas. And they need you to hear them. And challenge them to step up. I watched a situation where one of my direct reports had a great idea to completely revamp the way we do our short term trips. I admire my boss’s response when he heard the idea: he asked the young leader if he believed in the idea enough to make it happen. It was a challenge to step up and show his stuff.

Jeremiah’s reluctance

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The following sounds like a typical conversation between a reluctant leader and God:

The Lord gave me this message:

“I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my ___________________.”

“O Sovereign Lord,” I said, “I can’t _____________________! I’m too _____________________!”

The Lord replied, “Don’t say, ‘I’m too ____________________,’ for you must go wherever I send you and say whatever I tell you. And don’t be afraid of _____________________, for I will be with you and protect you. I, the Lord, have spoken!”

— Jeremiah 1:4-9

Why reluctance part 1: fear of failure

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I’m back after a short absence. I’ll try to be more timely in my blogging again. Over the next few posts, I want to go back to the reluctant leadership idea. In particular, what causes reluctance to step up?

I suggest there are a number of reasons. Perhaps the foremost is a fear of failure. Young people with potential for leadership need to be identified early and mentored. Part of the strength of the mentoring relationship is the commitment between mentor and mentee – a commitment that can be the difference in a young person stepping up.

They say delegation without support is abandonment. Well, it’s the same with mentoring. Even if the mentee seems ready, that commitment may still be the lifeline. Throwing a young leader into deep water before they have the tools to swim will only reinforce their deep-seated fear that they weren’t really able to do the job. When failure happens, as it certainly will to some degree, how will they handle it? Often, it sets Gen-Xers back for years and causes them to flee responsibility at least until the setting seems right to try again.

A young man knocked on my door one day. He hadn’t shown interest in the Threshing Floor when we first started it. I suspected he had leadership gifts, but he’d actually moved downward in the hierarchy at Wycliffe since I first met him. Recently, however, he had showed glimmers of interest. He came to our group with his Gen-X supervisor, and now he was at my office wanting to talk. He said he’d been talking quite a bit with his boss about leadership and she suggested he might get a lot out of The Threshing Floor. After being around other young leaders, he was so excited and wanted to soak up all he could. He unfolded the following story.

A few years before, he’d been put into a position of leadership with the promise that he would be mentored by his predecessor for two years. But within 6-9 months in the position, the mentor left him due to various reasons and eventually moved to another position. This young man quickly became overwhelmed and asked to move back to his previous role. He’d tried leadership but wasn’t prepared or supported adequately and had a bad experience. It took him years to come back around to wanting to try it again.

Shortly after our conversation, his supervisor – who was equally young but had a broad range of experience and success in various positions – was promoted. Now, in a much more supportive setting, he agreed to move back to the same position he had burned out on before. He’s doing great, and we’re seeing even greater leadership abilities emerging.

What does someone like this need? A safe, supportive environment to cultivate their leadership gifts. A setting that allows failure and provides a chance to get back up again. And a mentor committed to making sure they’re really swimming before letting go.

Gifts, interests and calling

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At Wycliffe USA, there’s a group of young leaders who meet together for mutual encouragement, accountability and to challenge each other. The goal of The Threshing Floor is to discuss issues of leadership and prompt each other to action. In meeting with this group twice a month for the last two years, I’ve noticed that there are differences between having leadership gifts, leadership interests and leadership calling. Reluctance seems to happen when one or more of those characteristics is missing.

(Notice that I didn’t list leadership positions. I think all of us can think of someone who has a position but lacks the other three.)

Let me give a couple of examples. For starters, I’ve watched a handful of people who come in streaks. They come for a while, then disappear. After a while they return. Why? I’ve concluded that they are intrigued by the idea of leadership. They’re students of it; they like to watch leadership in action up close. But every time they try setting out for the deep end themselves, they panic. Then they throw up their hands and stop pursuing leadership… for a while. Eventually that interest bubbles to the surface and they return.

So, do they just have leadership interests but no calling? Or no gifting? I’m not sure that’s it, because I’ve seen them influence people. I think they’re more comfortable following, except that they can’t simply follow. For some, I believe they perceive leadership gifts in themselves but they either haven’t found their niche or have failed gloriously the few times they’ve tried it.

What about the person who has leadership gifts and calling but never sought it? Consider Steve Murrell, pastor and author of The Reluctant Leader blog. The rationale for naming his blog is an interesting read. This sentence sums it up for me:

Maybe you never wanted to be a leader, but then you turned around and people seem to be following you. Scary.

Any reluctant leaders out there? What’s your story?

Reluctance is not the same as unwillingness

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Part 2 in defining a reluctant leader is to describe what it is not. Another great quote from the blogosphere, this one from Jeffrey Dean:

In Forrest Gump, Forrest had hundreds of people following him as he ran across the country, but he had no idea why he was running, much less what to say to those who joined him. When the moment came for him to speak, he simply said he was tired, and thought he would go home. There is a simple wisdom in this, but it was not delivered in a way anyone was ready to accept.

Again, a person with the ability to lead has no duty to do so. While some may argue that choosing not to lead is a waste of ability, I would counter that a person who does not want to lead does not make a good leader. Here, then, is the most important distinction to make: a reluctant leader is not an unwilling leader. It is simply someone who does not actively seek to lead before attracting others who want to follow. At some point, such a person must decide whether to lead or not, and the choice itself defines whether the person is actually a leader or not.

I am one who would argue that stewardship of our gifts is critical, and anything less is waste. However, I’m with him on his last point. Leadership abilities are not enough. A leader is one who chooses to lead.

So reluctant leaders have huge potential, but they’re not leaders until they emerge. I firmly believe that in every reluctant leader, there is a suppressed desire to lead.

An elusive breed of potential leaders

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Time after time, I’ve run into people my age or younger who have leadership gifts that remain hidden. I’m not necessarily just referring to the long-established art of unearthing leadership gifts in people and bringing those to light. The part that disturbs me is when young leaders know they have leadership gifts but dodge the mantle of leadership.

“If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously” (Rom 12:8). I firmly believe that those who have leadership gifts have a responsibility. Rather than squander it or suppress it, they need to develop it and practice leading.

Why would people seek to bury their leadership gifts? There are lots of reasons I’m going to dig into over the next few posts. Before I do that, we should agree on what a reluctant leader is.

The internet is a goldmine. Of all places, I found a wonderful article from the Natural Science Department at Manatee Community College in Bradenton, FL. Perhaps in scouring the world for new and endangered species, they discovered the reluctant leader. Check out this quote from Dr. Anthony and Crystal Gambino’s essay: “Untapped Potential: In Search of the Reluctant Leader.”

There exists an elusive breed of potential leaders. Most of these potential leaders will go unnoticed; very few will ever reach their leadership potential. They serve out of view and live in the shadows of others. It is this existence, in the shadow, that will serve them well if they are found and developed into the leaders they could be. The question is how do you find such a potential leader, one that does their job, but gives the credit to those who they helped. They help others reach their potential by gently pushing from behind with words of encouragement. This potential leader should lead, but is reluctant to do so mainly because they see leaders as those who assign the work and then take the credit. In their mind this is the last thing they want to become. Finding a reluctant leader will take a keen eye for observation, nurturing with patience, equipping with knowledge and developing the future leader over time. Tapping into this untapped potential will be a personal investment with a high rate of return.

What are your reactions? Anything stand out to you?

Leadership Styles – a look at Obama and the other contenders

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With the inauguration fresh on my mind, I thought I’d dust off some notes I made earlier in the campaign, before Obama had wrapped it up. First published on my intranet blog in May.

If I can manage to take the politics out of it, I think we can study the 2008 election as a classic contrast in leadership styles. In response to 7 years of rule by a CEO-style president, one who made decisions quickly, held his convictions in spite of public pressure, controlled all messaging and delegated tasks out to his team, we have been faced this primary season with a choice of three candidates who exhibit entirely different qualities.

One is a proven legislator known for compromise across the aisle, with an untouchable war record and painful personal experiences that influence his approach to many of the issues of the day. Like Bush, he’s been known to hold doggedly to unpopular convictions. Some suggest he’s been around long enough that it’s his turn to stand in line for president.

Another is a former first lady-turned-legislator who has mastered the ability to change shape to suit her circumstances. We’ve seen her as powerful lawyer, loyal wife, pained victim, champion of women’s rights, indignant mother, and blue collar worker. Her approach allows her to respond quickly to new challenges, but her past doesn’t seem to give any indication of the direction she’ll head tomorrow.

The third is an entirely different creature, and I admit I’m fascinated. A lifelong Republican, I’m strangely drawn to a man who was identified as the most liberal legislator in the Senate, based on voting record. There’s something about this man that generates response more like a rock star than a politician. Fast Company in April 2008 featured an analysis of the Obama brand and noted how he has tapped the imagination of the younger generations through technology and giving away his brand through viral marketing and social networking.

In particular, I want to focus on their analysis of his leadership style. Author Ellen McGirt quotes Craig Newmark, the founder of Craigslist and self-proclaimed independent: “I see him as a leader rather than a boss. A boss can order you to do things, sure, but you do them because it’s part of the contract.” In contrast, a leader is one who uses inspiration, respect and trust to motivate others to do things on their own. McGirt goes on to say, “There have long been leaders who are bosses, and bosses who are leaders. Having a vision and inspiring or instructing others to follow that vision have long been hallmarks of business and politics. But Obama epitomizes a new way of thinking called ‘adaptive leadership.’”

“Adaptive leadership.” What’s the difference between that and Hillary’s all-things-for-all-people approach? Ironically for a candidate who draws crowds in the tens of thousands, it’s less about the central figure than either model employed by his competitors. It’s about inclusion and influence rather than control and direction. For instance, Obama’s use of the “Yes we can” slogan, the way he brings people to the table to talk and the way he has spurred the involvement of masses of young people. Rather than act like an imperial CEO, Marty Linsky says, “Obama often proposes process plans that involve a trust in the community at large.”

As many Boomers conclude that he’s being vague and indecisive, they can’t understand why he’s a hit with younger voters. “Obama, through his inclusive Web site and, yes, his lofty rhetoric, reinforces the notion that everyone is included and that this movement is actually a conversation to which everyone is invited.”

Too late to the game

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I wanted to call this blog The Reluctant Leader. But Steve Murrell already has a very good blog by that name. In fact, if you’re only going to read one blog, read that one. In fact, he even has a better reason for the name than I do.

I’m not a reluctant leader. In fact, ever since I was identified as a leader by my second grade teacher, I’ve been trying to live up to that label. (I hope I didn’t mishear him; maybe he said I was a “cheater” or a “reader.”)

I have a passion for leadership, and I love seeing others grow in their own awareness of leadership gifts. I find a lot of people in my generation have suppressed and latent leadership gifts. Some are interested in the idea of leadership but have failed gloriously when they tried it. Others are so skeptical of the leaders they know that they’d rather take potshots from the back row. And others have just never tried it or had it drawn out of them.

I remember in college when one of the quietest girls I ever met was asked to lead a small group Bible study. She was phenomenal and knew how to draw the introverts out. Leadership can be hiding anywhere, because leadership is influence. Everyone influences someone.

My passion and calling right now is to study what makes a good leader, how to draw out the best in the people I touch and to be a bridge to established leadership for these latent and emerging leaders.

Senators in the Back Row

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I came across a newspaper article the other day by this name. I think it was referring to a group of Senators who sat in the back row of the House to observe some controversial vote or debate. But it got me thinking.

Who are the Senators who sit on the back row of the Senate? How would someone come to have a position like that but sit on the back row? Are they politicians who really don’t want to be there? Or who don’t belong? Seems to me they need a club or a caucus or something.

This blog is an exploration of the dynamics of a generation with a fear and suspicion of leadership. What are the issues that hold leaders back and keep people from stepping out to use their gifts? I’m intensely curious about those issues, and as I explore them, I invite others to join the conversation.